Affichage des articles dont le libellé est funny. Afficher tous les articles
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est funny. Afficher tous les articles

lundi 18 février 2013

10 STEPS TO MAKING A “HARLEM SHAKE” VIDEO AND GET MILLIONS OF VIEWS ON YOUTUBE


GANGNAM STYLE OUT - HARLEM SHAKE IN

It’s officially time people get over Gangnam style and move on with their lives. Aren't you tired of hearing it play on the radio, in your car, on your iPod (iPhone) and a million times every time you hit up a nightclub? Haven’t you had enough? The best way to get over something is by introducing something new and I am here today to show you there is a life after Gangnam Style. Not every Vietnamese can come up with something so brilliant so we have to turn our hopes to some other person on YouTube expecting they will give us what we all need: dancing and music with a dash of crazy, a spoonful of nutty and a pinch of psycho.

Maybe you haven’t noticed but that time is now. It’s time to put away the Asian ass screaming and get ready for definite ass and ball shaking. After Gangnam Style, let me present to you the Harlem Shake. Harlem Shake is a dance that emerged in… you guessed it, Harlem New York and was rumored to have been created by some drunken dude too boozed up to dance. This became the Harlem Shake which is now rising in popularity. A few million views in a few days, I’d say it’s too good to be true, but it isn’t, it’s true, I have proof. People have already begun to redo it in different and all occasions. From dorm rooms to offices even Harlem Shake PORN Edition,

and they've even got a wide selection or Harlem Shake Remixes (FREE DOWNLOAD HERE), I’ve even seen shit do the Harlem Shake (how freakin funny!) everyone wants a Piece of Harlem, because everyone likes to get a little crazy.

If you want to know how to become a YouTube Superstar and gain millions of views then it’s time you invest your time and do the Harlem Shake. If you don’t someone else will and they will be the ones raking in the views and the oh so sweet Karma and you’ll be home alone thinking of what could have been but wasn’t because your lazy ass was way to comfy on that couch of yours and you didn’t get up and do something.

10 STEPS TO MAKING A “HARLEM SHAKE” VIDEO AND GET MILLIONS OF VIEWS ON YOUTUBE


1. Buy the song on ITUNES 

First step is of course buying the song. You can’t do the Harlem Shake if you’ve got no music to shake to. You would just look ridiculous.

2. Get a camera or Iphone

Can’t really upload a video to YouTube if you don’t shoot it first right?

3. Find a helmet

Because helmets are safe and safety comes first.

4. Find a super tight spandex costume and put it on

Yes, because you just look that good in a tight form fitting costume.


5. Find a friend who will dance in boxers

I know you don’t want to be the one slapping your dick around in boxers so you need to find a friend who will do it for you.

6. Find friends as crazy as you

You will need at least 4 crazy friends. The more you have the more fun it will be. Everyone loves crazies.

7. Find a girl that will shake it


Well simply because sex sells. You could easily have a video talking about a red ant colony or some other boring subject but if there is a sexy girl in it, it will work. So find a cute sexy girl and make sure you’ve got a huge close up plan on her perfect round soft jiggling body parts while she’s shaking it and giving it all she’s got.



8. Find people who can’t dance

Find a bunch of people who can’t dance and tell them to just shake what their mama gave em.

9. Get Drunk as hell

This is probably the easiest part. Drink and then drink some more. Make sure your crazy friends and random can’t dance strangers drink too. It will make for a funnier video. Maybe you’ll get lucky and one of them will puke on another. That’s sure to be viral no?

10. Have a seizure and slap your balls

Having a seizure is no laughing matter. But pretending to have one and slapping your balls together like castanets can be pretty funny if you do it right. Now if you’re not used to slapping your balls together might I suggest you practice first. Practice makes perfect and if you slap them together many times you will achieve the perfect and ultimate ball slapping experience, plus you’ll have an awesome video.


Now that you know how to create your own excellent Harlem Shake video you are ready to be a YouTube superstar. So shake till you can’t shake no more, then sit back relax, watch your excellent ball shaking do the work, and rake in the YouTube views! Good luck and remember Harlem shake in moderation because there is just so much shaking your cute little sac can take!


mardi 15 janvier 2013

IS PORN DANGEROUS??

is porn dangerous


SO IS IT ?

The question that is on everyone’s lips: Is porn dangerous? I guess that for anyone wanting to join the adult industry the first question should always be that. You have to know what you are getting into before even thinking of becoming a porn star or even a webcam star gay or straight. There is so much to know before joining the thousands of others who have made the leap and joined the adult business for good. Once you've started there is no turning back. If you’re cute and any good, your face will be plastered to every porno site there is, blogs and social networks will share your ass until your ass has been around the planet at least twice.

WHAT IS DANGEROUS ABOUT PORN


STD’s

Well first of all, we can't hide it! A major part of the porn industry’s fears is the possible transmission of STD'S. No one can get away from it. There are STD's in this line of work and sometimes it can be dangerous. Even with the multitude of tests, someone can have aids and it will only show up week’s even months later in the results. If by misfortune you are transmitted an STD then your porn career can be over and you can be thrown out on the curb in a heartbeat and they will move on to the next little cutie with a tight ass and pussy.

GETTING OLD AND FLAB

We all know there is a market for the old and slab but is that really where you want to be. Your young and cute and want to be remembered that way. You do not want your fans who adore you see you get old. You need to keep young and tight which are lots of work. Ok you can’t really work on the tight thing because inevitably someday your ass is gonna want to retire before it’s too late. You want people to remember you at your peak not when you prolapse was showing.

FUTURE

Maybe not your future because you have accepted this lifestyle choice, but your child’s future. He will not have a choice. You have to know that he probably will get pointed at in school and he will probably see you in a porno once he is of age to understand and watch them. You are forcing this life style onto your child. You are not giving him or her a choice. It’s something to think about right?

FAMILY & FRIENDS

Not all families are accepting of this choice of career. That fatal day you will get a call from your dad, might not be what you were expecting. It might go along the lines of: “What were you thinking or all my friends you give some guy a blow job it or what is your mother going to think?” Are you ready for that? Are you ready for your friends to see you naked and see you blow the cap of hundreds of guys? Are you afraid they will see you differently? Once it’s out there it’s out there! I've seen families destroyed because of the decision to work in this line of business. It’s not easy to get your family and friends to accept what you do. You need to be honest and they need to be accepting.

As you can see, porn can be dangerous weather it's straight, lesbian or gay. There are many other reasons but these to me are the most important. So if ever you contemplate the idea of being in a porno or actually becoming a full on porn star, make sure you ask yourself this simple yet hard to answer question: “Is porn dangerous? “ If you don’t mind the answer than you are perfect for this line of work and I wish you all the luck in the world!

jeudi 20 décembre 2012

Real Naughty Christmas Porn

 naughty christmas porn

Christmas is around the corner and who says Christmas says Christmas porn. Oh yeah, girls with antlers and guys with elf shoes really turn me on! Haven’t you ever had any Christmas fantasies? Haven’t you ever seen yourself fucking Mrs. Clause from behind? Don’t you want to jingle your bells on her oh so jolly ass? Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, I won’t tell Santa and you'll still get your Christmas present under your naughty tree!


I LOVE CHRISTMAS

funny christmas pornChristmas is just about to drop a shit load of jolly on us, are you ready?
I really love Christmas with a passion. I love the continuous smell of gingerbread cookies, the white lights in every tree and the awesome ambiance that floats around everywhere I go. Everyone is in a good mood and the porn is fantastic. The little red hats on dicks and heads and jingle bells everywhere you go! I usually search for mistletoes everywhere hoping to steal a kiss from the person under it. Imagine stranger’s faces in stores when I grab them and plant a huge wet kiss on their lips. I really wish I could kiss more than their lips sometimes but that might get their wife jealous and since its Christmas I don’t want to kill the mood. It’s too bad because they could probably learn a little from my kissing skills.

NAUGHTY CHRISTMAS PARTY

Every year I keep hoping someone will invite me to one of their parties. I’m not talking about those boring family gatherings; I’m talking about the naughty, drink till you fuck Christmas party. Kind of like the one you end up having at work where the eggnog filled secretary will blow the boss in his office while his wife is in the storage room getting banged by the cute delivery boy. You know the ones where everyone comes back to work a few days later with their heads between their legs hoping everyone else forgot what happened at the party. But you havent...you have it all on your cell phone and you plan on sending it to realgfsexposed for full exposure! I desperately want to be invited this year. I really need a good office bang. Fun times!



SEXY SANTA

funny christmas porn

There is something really exciting about Santa Claus. Oh yeah, I’ll sit on Santa’s knees anytime he wants me to and he can jingle my bells all he wants. Ok, we all know it’s not about the presents or the reindeer. Maybe it’s the fact that he wears that beard so well. Or maybe it’s just imagining what he could do with my juicy tight pussy when he wiggles his cute little red nose. If he can go around the world in one night than he can definitely do a number on me in 24 hours. Fuck the presents, anyways I’ve been a real bad girl and I’m probably on the naughty list. I bet Santa is a naughty boy just like all the others. He’s a man, he has needs too and I bet Mrs. Claus won’t do the half of what I could do. Maybe Santa should see other people, including me.


To all you naughty people on Christmas I want to wish you all happy holidays and don’t forget to tape your hot office amateur Christmas porn because here’s a girl just aching to be a part of it! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good fuck!

mercredi 28 novembre 2012

17 types of faces people make when having an orgasm


I've worked in the adult industry for many years now on many different websites and have seen a ton of weird faces when people climax.  Here’s a list of the top 17 greatest orgasms I have ever seen. 


1 – The “4:20 orgasm”
the 4:20 orgasm
Sometimes the girls smoke a bowl before going on a shoot.  This is the end result of mixing weed and sex. Classy.

2 – The “Choke-gasm”
17 most incredible orgasm faces ever
he choke-gasm happens when the girl’s orgasm is so strong, she literally chokes on it.  Sometimes the choke-gasm is followed by involuntary vomit.  Fun times.


3 – The “never ending orgasm”
orgasm faces you'll remember
You can usually see women over 35 experience it.  Basically, they start climaxing and by some form of slut magic – they don’t stop cumming.   If you ever come across the never ending orgasm, go grab a sandwich, you’re in for a long wait.


4 – The “high note”
An intense sound orgasm
Happens when the girl squeals a high pitched sound - similar to a bat.
  Men have been known to produce similar sounds after stepping barefoot on lego blocks.


5 – The “Daddy didn’t love me”
Orgasms caused by sadness
Cries when used as a cum dumpster.


6 – The “I’m not on birth control”
!7 best orgasm faces
You’re fucked.  Enjoy changing diapers.


7 – The “Is that you Jeebus?”
Jeebus can give you an orgasm face to remember
Happens when a woman is sent to such an extreme state of pleasure that she crosses over to the other side. You get a high-five from the Lord.


8 – The “snore”
Boring orgasm
Usually happens when your needle dick can’t do the job right.  Unless she’s in love with you, then she’ll fake one of the other 16 o-faces.


9 – The “Ow-face”
when the orgasm hurts like hell
She looks like she’s in pain.  She has possibly dislocated her jaw.  She fucking loves the way you do her right.  Attaboy!


10 – The “dump”
orgasm faces like this are very common

You really can’t tell if she’s enjoying herself or about to dump a big steamy mud pie on your chest.


11 – The “rug burn”
It burns!
Usually characterized by the face-to-rug ratio during intercourse.Warning : do not attempt the rug burn when close to open stoves or fireplaces.


12 – The “loner”
Orgam aquired alone
Wonder why you’re single?  Because this is what you look like.


13 – The “wrong hole”
nough said
Usually happens when you’re in the wrong hole and your partner is too shy or scared to tell you otherwise.  On a positive note : No babies!


14 – The “prison bitch”
Been to prison? Had an orgasm?
If you’ve ever been to prison, this should seem very familiar.  P.S : T-bone misses you, call him.


15 – The “affectionate lover”
orgasm face to remember
This is what a satisfied partner looks like.  Go grab a beer cowboy, your work is done.


16 – The “Ouija”
Oragsm faces like this are really dangerous
Typically happens when your sex session is so loud it awakens the dead, and they take possession of the girl’s body so they too can feel the mighty power of your Ramrod.  Other possibilities: She’s having a seizure.  Call an ambulance.


17 – The “Finish Her”
says it all
Happens when, like in Mortal Kombat, your partner is at a point where all is left for you to do is to dick slap her face off.


There you have it! 17 types of faces people make when having an orgasm! Are you one of these faces? My sources of all these incredible orgasm faces are of course google, deviantclip, punish tube, dapink and many more:)


jeudi 8 novembre 2012

After Wunderbar...Pornobar

I was watching a porno the other day (yes i watch porno's too!) and stumbled upon a very, i guess we could say funny, video. I was looking at the dude getting a blowjob by a hot blond and thought, I've seen this guy before....but where? After a few minutes of watching , it hit me... WUNDERBAR!! This is the dude from Wunderbar!! Well ok, maybe its not but he really really looks like him! Maybe the viking business was down and he decided to recycle to porn? Much more money making in porno movies ;)
What do you think? Same guy?

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